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Confidence is not always everything

August 15, 2012

Dear Guy At The Bar Downtown Two Fridays Ago:

I am not going to be more attracted to you if you tell me how horrible your ex-wife is and how you hate sharing custody with her and how much you hate having to deal with her, five minutes after starting talking to me.

It doesn’t make me think anything about her. After all, I only have your side of things.

It does, however, make me think *you* might be horrible and that I might hate having to deal with you. If not now, then at some point.

All you needed to say was, “I have two kids. I share custody with their mom.” That’s enough to let me know you’re an involved dad and a decent person.


The Girl Who Told You Her Name Was Julie And That She Was Just In Town Visiting Friends

6 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2012 11:19 am

    Love it!

  2. michelle k permalink
    August 15, 2012 1:24 pm

    I’ve so had that conversation and couldn’t agree more. I’m not in a positive relationship with my son’s father and all I ever mention is that I have a son. End of sentence….why elaborate to a stranger?

  3. Kathleen permalink
    August 16, 2012 11:05 pm

    Consider it a blessing that the guy is so clueless he doesn’t know this. He is most likely not a guy you want to know anyway, and you just saved yourself all kinds of time and energy.

  4. August 20, 2012 8:50 pm

    I met Doug at BlogHer very briefly, and thanked him, and told him to to tell you thank you. I’m just so grateful that you’re here, and writing. So. Thank you.

  5. Tondja Woods permalink
    November 11, 2012 9:30 am

    love it. i might have been my ex husband. i love it

  6. jLo permalink
    November 17, 2012 4:37 pm

    I once went on a date with a guy who spent a large chunk of time over lunch complaining about what a drag it was to have to have his kids every other weekend. He didn’t seem to have any idea how unattractive this was. There was no second date.

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