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Subtext

May 24, 2011

Hi there! Remember us? The divorced parents who started that blog last year? It was called “After the Fire,” right? “Fire and Ice” maybe? I’m pretty sure there was something in there about burning.

We’re still here, trying to deal the daily dealings, but if you’re a divorced parent, you know that after the fire, the fire still burns. There are days when you’re getting along well, and you’re in a mostly good place about co-parenting with this stranger you used to love. And there are days when you just want to forget her name.

When we left off, we were hip-deep in major negotiations. They’re still going on, but the endgame is in reach. And I’m really looking forward to having this over with, so we can get on with whatever the next thing is.

The kids are still oblivious, mostly because there’s no reason to tell them anything until the decision is made. But we still need to talk about it, and the only times we’re ever in the same room are when the kids are with us. Since face-to-face discussions aren’t as frequent as I’d like them to be, we’ve run into the arms of technology to improvise.

The other day Moxie was over here for an hour or so after she got back from a trip, and the four of us were talking about school, and ninjas, and the video game our son wants to write in which his school is destroyed by ninjas. And throughout the conversational crossfire, Moxie and I had our phones out, texting each other information with a Born Before 2000 security clearance.

It’s not that noteworthy, really. A few thousand surreptitious texts were sent while you read this sentence. But it just struck me funny that while the kids were hopping all over us, we were slyly single-thumbing their future.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. Chrissy permalink
    May 25, 2011 8:24 am

    Welcome back! We missed you. I love to hear that you two are actually communicating. It gives me hope that someday my STBX and I will have the same (If only the ‘other person’ would let him). It’s good for your kids that you can talk with each other about their upbringing and not have a third party w/an agenda dictating the father’s every move. Sadly, that’s when the courts get involved.

    Onward and upward.

  2. famousamy permalink
    May 25, 2011 10:01 am

    Glad to hear the lines of communication are still open, even if it is via text! Thanks for keeping us readers updated. 🙂

  3. May 25, 2011 11:03 am

    Best part about texting while you’re in the room with someone is that they can see your body language. And you two are VERY smart to figure out a way to discuss this when you can without alerting the kids.

  4. May 25, 2011 12:16 pm

    Born before 2000 security clearance. That’s a riot. The password is what you hear when you pick up a phone. Dial tone? Or black thing that spins in circles and plays music. Record?

  5. May 25, 2011 1:35 pm

    Texting. The best thing to happen since um sliced bread?

    It’s how I communicate with my ex too.

    Hey a question for you two…have you been forced to do living wills? Am just curious if that was just something we’re being forced to do or if it’s normal. Agreeing on things wasn’t easy in this regard when married. You can imagine how fun it is, divorced.

  6. May 26, 2011 8:57 am

    So glad you are back! I’ve missed both of your posts. This one made me laugh. My ex and I try to talk in code around the kids but neither of us is covert-expert enough to pull it off. Please write more… its great to read you.

    • May 26, 2011 10:54 am

      Thanks very much for the encouragement. We’re working on it.

  7. vtchick permalink
    May 29, 2011 2:19 pm

    Oh thank {insert favorite higher being here} that you’re both still alive. I’ve been occasionally stalking your web site to see if you’ve surfaced and wondering how things are going. looking forward to hearing what the suspense has been about and how resoloutions are achieved!

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