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If “gooberfluff” isn’t a real word, it should be

August 17, 2010

Hello again. Today the boys and I are still ensconced in the wilds, albeit in a new venue of ensconcement. Here, the water is fresh, and all roads form a giant, evergreen labyrinth of complete noiselessness. The only sounds in the tent last night were the murmurs of a certain five-year-old, who sighs adorably right before sleepkicking me in the pine cone.

Today was three parents, four watercraft, and five boys aged 3, 5, 6, 7, and 8. All we needed was a four-year-old to complete the Straight Flush of Crazy.

So. This is our new blog’s sixth post. How we doing so far? The press seems to have noticed, and we’ve been profiled in The New York Times and The Toronto Globe and Mail. Two countries in less than a week! We expect full global saturation by Labor Day, when elderly Azorean goatherds can shake their heads forbiddingly and mentally condemn our kids to lives of rehab and criminal recidivism.

Reading some of the comments to those two pieces has been an education for me, because after seven years of inoffensive gooberfluff, I’ve had precious little experience with detractors. I can sort of understand where they’re coming from, because if you think blogs in general are just a load of useless, narcissistic oversharing, you really won’t have any use for this one. Divorce is a volatile and polarizing subject, and sometimes the way to co-parent most effectively is to Let Stuff Go. If you asserted that blogging runs exactly counter to that, I can’t say I’d disagree. But I also think there’s a lot of potential upside here, and I’m very grateful that Moxie and I have progressed far enough to even have the chance to fail. All we have is a mutual desire to keep repairing our relationship (a crucial fixer-upper opportunity!) and to protect our kids’ dignity at all costs.

So you know that story about the blogger who linked to her ex-husband’s online dating profile and encouraged her readers to mock it mercilessly? Yeah, we’re not gonna do that.

Thanks for listening, and for your forbearance. And now, since I’ll be back in the tent again tonight, I have to go practice sleeping on my stomach.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. mom2boy permalink
    August 18, 2010 2:00 pm

    After many attempts to explain to my childless or still partnered parent friends why I have and will continue to co-parent as peaceably as possible with a difficult ex but, no, the relationship itself wasn’t salvageable, I don’t think this blog is a crazy idea at all. In fact, I ❤ virtual validation! So thank you. Really.

  2. August 18, 2010 7:54 pm

    this might sound strange but you two should really be proud. putting a blog together like this is remarkable. and somewhat crucial to those who are wishing to co-parent in some civil manner. seeing both sides, remembering everyone is human, right? your kids are lucky to have you both, i hope you remember that especially on difficult days.

  3. irretrievablybroken permalink
    August 19, 2010 7:53 am

    It’s amusing, to me, the absurdities people spout–“If they can get along well enough to write a website, why don’t they just stay married?” and, of course, “Think of the children!”

    I’ve noticed that real cranks often save their vitriol for newspaper/magazine comment sections…. A friend of mine built a an eco-friendly house w/ a green roof in San Francisco–it was profiled in the Chronicle, and you’d have thought, from the comments, that she’d murdered a litter of puppies. With her bare hands.

    I wonder, if you were writing anonymously, whether people would get so het up? It’s difficult for me to parse exactly what offends them so about a joint website undertaken in good faith. Good luck.

    http://irretrievablybroken.wordpress.com/

  4. August 19, 2010 11:57 am

    I am a longtime Askmoxie follower. You probably saved my LIFE when I read about the 4 month sleep regression on your blog. I was wallowing deep in post partum depression and surviving on possibly 2 hours of interrupted sleep a night and your blog was like a lifesaver. I constantly link to your sleep regression page and have sent many a bleary-eyed new parent to you.

    So, it irks me that anyone is saying negative things about you. Please know that you have far more supporters than detractors. Although I am married and some of the material in this blog might not apply to me, I will definitely be reading for a different perspective, and I think it is definitely a topic that needs to be addressed. Of course, I will be reading Askmoxie until you stop hitting Publish, which I hope will never happen!

    Thank you for everything that you have done on all of your blogs; for your honesty, your humor, and your insight. It’s appreciated more than a comment box can ever truly convey.

  5. Camille permalink
    August 23, 2010 12:43 pm

    As an ex-pat Canadian, I am a regular reader of the Globe and Mail. The commenters to this newspaper are largely a group of complete jackasses with too much time on thier who have nothing supportive to say about anything. Disregard the naysayers and carry on.

  6. Ryan permalink
    August 23, 2010 5:07 pm

    One more thing… can you remove my last comment? I just sent this link to my ex wife! She should read it too. Come to think of it, can you remove both this one and the last one? And, I’ll start over.

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